


497. Ponder perpetual motion

by SevlinRipley



Category: It - All Media Types, Stranger Things - Fandom
Genre: Canon Character of Color, Canon Jewish Character, Carnival, F/M, Fear of Heights, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Holding Hands, Lap-sitting, M/M, Multi, OT13 - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Present Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-01 17:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15148184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SevlinRipley/pseuds/SevlinRipley
Summary: Prompt: First kiss for Wheelbrak





	497. Ponder perpetual motion

**Author's Note:**

> Ngl, this fic probably isn't very good. I've been a wreck recently.
> 
> This fic's purpose was to get Mike Wheeler and Eddie Kaspbrak to kiss, but also introduces the relationships of their friends, and how they interact together. I hope to write more of this 'verse some day, so I tried to make this fic well-balanced, despite mainly being about Mike and Eddie. Hope it doesn't bother anyone that I tagged the other ships and characters. (Bill's fine; he's the group bicycle and all is well ♥)
> 
> Title from "Up Around the Bend" by Creedence Clearwater Revival

By twos and threes a group of thirteen travels through the maze of stands and rides the fair has brought to town. Passing scents of caramelized sugar and the 8-bit sounds of games being played in booths by couples, friends, and family alike.

Will's been gracious enough to walk at Mike's side instead of Richie's. Instead of _just_ Richie's, anyway. Eddie and Bill are just ahead of them, and behind are Eleven and Mike Hanlon, Lucas and Ben, Max and Stan, and trailing at the back, Dustin and Bev.

Dustin keeps swerving off from the group, distracted, and Beverly reigns him back in line with an arm over his shoulder and an exaggerated, " _Babe_!" - "But did you see -?!" - "Yes and it'll still be there in an hour."

Mike Hanlon now goes by a nickname. One the group decided on when the Losers Club and the Party first converged. Initially, Richie had suggested a mash-up: Manlon. But El, who had spent over a year isolated with only a T.V. for company, and had subsequently watched a lot of _Little House on the Prairie_ in-between her soaps, quietly lifted her hand to Mike's arm and suggested 'Manly' instead. Because she thought he was handsome, not unlike Laura and her Almanzo. And that was the beginning of _those two_.

Manly has his arm over Eleven's shoulders, too. But she has her arm bent at up the elbow, fingers laced with his. Tucked in close enough that if she gets distracted by something pretty, he's going right along with her.

Everyone else is fairly content to play follow-the-leader until they get back, to the bigger rides. Fast rides are for the setting sun, before food intake. Then snacks and booth games. And as the night sets in, the slow rides. The Ferris wheel, so they can see the city's lights, and the stars, glowing above and below them.

Even so, Max can be heard loudly promising to win stuffed toys for Stanley. Who responds by pushing her out-stretched pointer finger back down to her side, before sticking his nose to her cheek, calmly assuring her that he does not need a collection of three-cent drek. "No one _needs_ anything here, Stanley. We don't _need_ to be here at all," Max argues. But despite her adamant tone, the smile that's on her face is soft and loving. If not slightly forlorn. Having to convince her boyfriend to let her spoil him.

Lucas is halfway draped over Ben's back as they walk, Ben's fingers in belt loops, and Lucas' feet dragging across the dirt path until his shoes are covered in dust. This lasts a short time, however, because it's a tiring way to move, and Stan starts complaining about the kicked-up waves of brown coating his own shoes in the disturbance. So eventually Lucas takes Ben's hand between them and walks 'normally' as per Stan's request. But not without Lucas sticking his tongue out at him, giving a wink to Max who laughs and falls into Stan's shoulder when he sticks out his own tongue in juvenile retaliation.

As for Richie, who's normally the first to run off in any scenario, and easily the most distracted of their group... Will's keeping him tethered with locked fingers. Never going too many steps before pulling the back of Richie's hand up to his mouth to kiss at his knuckles. Or crossing his far arm over his own chest to wrap a hand around Richie's upper arm, thumbing over the smooth skin beneath Richie's button-up. Soft, almost ticklish touches that keep pulling Richie's eyes to Will. Keeps him licking out at his lips and blinking slow. Caught in honey so sweet nothing else around them can compare.

But Mike only takes partial notice to this, and it's background noise at best, he's so used to it. No... Will's talking to both him and Richie, but Mike's only able to offer vague replies as he's hyper-focused on the back straight in front of him.

Eddie and Bill's elbows keep rubbing together as they talk animatedly. Bill gesticulates a lot less than Eddie, but he's still clearly feeding off of Eddie's energy, cheeks pink as he works the words out of his mouth as best he can. The flow of conversation between the two is _never_ lost, because Eddie knows exactly what Bill's about to say before he says it. And vice versa. They're talking over each other, in perfect sync. Just like always.

That too, however, is white noise. Mike wouldn't be able to say what they were talking about, their voices carried off in the breeze. Even if that wasn't so, he's been too caught up in the golden tone centered in Eddie's brown eyes when he faces Bill enough that Mike can see his left iris, sun looking like it's almost shining right through. Eddie's hair ruffles in the wind, too, soft and fluttering like the feathers of a bird. He stops speaking with his hands and arms every now and then to adjust his fanny pack. Up his hip, and right back to the same spot it was in before. A tick, if anything. Mike isn't certain where it extends from. But he's glad it's there, even though it's caused him to bite the dry skin open on his lip many a time.

Likewise, he misses the silent conversation Will and Richie have with their eyes as they all fall in line, and Eddie pulls a ticket from his fanny pack to hand to the man managing the flying scooter ride. When Will gives him an apologetic smile and rides with Richie, leaving everyone paired off apart from Mike, who ends up riding alone, he ends up stubbornly sitting the next few rides out. Besides how unappealing it is to be offered pity partnerships, Mike doesn't admit that he finds most of the rides a little... intimidating. As in, his stomach is dropping out just looking at them. They're all tall, and involve a lot of dropping. A lot of moving up and back down, swinging through the air.

In order not to have those pity offers extend to pity _looks_ , Mike takes the disposable camera Eddie brought along, and tries his best to smile, and not feel woozy, as he tries to snap pictures of his friends when they're nearer to the ground.

He also tries not to feel a twist in his stomach that Bill and Eddie just _happened_ to pair up for every ride. Like, he wouldn't blame them if they ended up dating after all these years, and maybe they're testing it out tonight or something. Mike doesn't really know, and he doesn't want to think about it too much, since it is what it is and Mike didn't exactly plan on acting on his feelings _anyway_. He tells himself he's too old to be jealous and petty. Does what he can to steady the camera so the photos don't come out _as_ blurry.

 

Everything settles nicely when the group goes off to the food and game stands, separated, but not forcibly. Mike's able to hover near whomever he pleases, and when Will turns around to lean back against the table they'd snagged while eating, and Richie climbs fully onto his lap, instead of shooting water at ducks, or whatever, Mike decides to tag along with Manly and El first.

This happens to coincide with Dustin and Beverly's plans, because Dustin and El have teamed up to explore all of the games. Most of them are ones Dustin's familiar with, and he's showing El how to play, right along with the history of rigged games. Which makes El turn a pout at Manly who instantly wraps around her from behind and tells her that if she doesn't win, they can always buy something with their extra tickets.

When she whispers in Manly's ear, Mike knows she's saying she could _make_ herself win, and wouldn't that make things more fair?

Dustin and Bev are already taking turns losing behind their partition. And Mike doesn't see how Manly sways El to the side of sportsmanship, because Dustin pushes Mike by the shoulder, into place, for the third and final round of his and Bev's game. Bev cheers him on, and then gives an empathetic _aw_ when he, too, misses almost every target. "Good try," Dustin tells him, patting him on the shoulder.

For the first time that night, Mike really smiles, catching up to the fun, over the pining.

He was eight the last time he came to the fair, and they'd ended up leaving early because his dad was too tired from work to lift Mike up onto his chest so Mike could actually see the games he was playing. After that, Karen had admitted defeat, and they never came back. Mike hadn't really been interested since then, either, but this year with Eddie going... And it being El's first time, Mike thought it might be fun. Sorta.

Before Mike knows it, El's grabbing his hand and pulling him along with her and Manly, her warmth familiar and encapsulating. Just like the crease of a smile in Manly's eyes as he glances his way behind El's head, when he butts the head of the unicorns holographic horn into the side of Mike's head. Way over-priced, but reward enough for El being honest, even if it means he has to carry it for her the rest of the night. Mike smiles back, slow and easy, flexing his fingers in El's grip, just before she lets go.

Lucas and Ben were there destination, apparently, and Mike sees a giddy side of Lucas he hasn't for a while. Lucas comes up to him, cupping his cheeks as he says, "Having fun, Mike? Me and Ben just totally whipped Bill and Eddie's tails at bumper cars! You wanna go?"

Tilting his head up and to the side, Mike looks passed Lucas for Bill and Eddie, but they must've already gone off. "I don't have a partner," he mumbles.

And El's response is immediate. She turns, takes the stuffed unicorn from Manly, and gives a sharp nod. "Now you do." She blushes pretty when Manly kisses her forehead, and Mike blushes almost the same when Manly takes his hand, then Lucas' with Lucas grabbing Ben's along the way, and they join the serpentine line for the bumper cars.

Without any help from Mike whatsoever, Manly manages to get Lucas and Ben's car pinned twice, but it's pretty even in the end. There's a lot of jostling and Mike's spine regrets the amount of times he's been jarred mid-laugh, lungs taking in a surprised gasp of air, before he starts laughing again. Lucas shit-talks a lot, while Ben steers. But the only time they actually pin himself and Manly is when El waves at them all and Manly breaks out into a soft smile, helpless to wave back.

When they all climb out of their cars, and get on the other side of the red-metal fencing, Ben hugs Mike from the side, patting his chest. "Good job. Now Lucas is gonna be begging for a re-match all night."

"Don't blame me," Mike says, with a toothy grin, flipping Lucas the bird playfully. "Manly did all the work. See you guys in a bit, though?"

They wave him off, and he only partially admits to himself that he's looking for Eddie. And Bill. He hasn't really gotten to spend time with Bill yet either, aside from the car ride in. Which was up close and personal since Bill sat on his lap, but still. That was something they often did, and this, here, with the sun setting and the gently wafted breeze of fried food in the air, Mike wants to be able to say he didn't waste his time, didn't neglect any of his friends. They'll graduate next summer, and then what? So yeah, he wants to see Eddie, but it'd also be nice to throw some balls at weighted milk bottles with the boy who'd kissed his temple on the way in, too.

He finds Max and Stanley, first.

They're at the petting zoo, and Max has her nose wrinkled in disgust, but there's amusement pulling at her lips, and lighting up her eyes as Stan feeds a goat. He's bent in half, and telling it how much he likes its beard. Mike starts to smirk fondly, himself, stepping up and folding his arms over the green and rust-colored fencing, mock-Max. "Hey," he says, speaking up over the sound of the animals and the various people who're trying to be interesting enough to feel like the animals are _actually_ paying attention to anything besides the food.

"Hey," Max says back, then snaps her fingers at Stanley to get his attention.

Stan straightens up enough to give Mike a smile. "Coming in? They're closing soon." The animals get a bed time, he guesses, which is good. Fair. Mike shakes his head, then takes a deep breath in and leans his head on Max's shoulder.

Absent-mindedly, she lifts a hand to pet at his hair. Or maybe not so absent, because then she's asking, far more gentle than she has to, "What's up, kid?"

Mike would love nothing more than to unload about his stupid crush and how he's starting to feel self-pity engross him more and more every day and that he's worried he's gonna lash out. Just randomly go off, in the middle of the school day because so many people around him get to touch the people they love, romantically, unabashedly, and he's trying to keeps his hands to himself, fists balled up so he doesn't wind them up in his sweater, effectively stretching the fibers and ruining it.

He wants to say the he feels stupid for being jealous that Bill's Eddie's best friend because even though they're all best friends (and maybe all a little in love, too) it doesn't feel fair that that kicks Mike to the side, when maybe as the three single people of the group they should be attached hip to hip to hip. That he feels like an ass, a hypocrite, because he wants time with just Eddie and himself. If he could have it, he knows he'd take Eddie from Bill, in that way. And he can't help it, because his heart literally aches when he thinks about it, full of too much want and he's sorry but...

Brows knitting together, Mike's mouth goes lop-sided, and he huffs out a frustrated breath. Doesn't even realize Stan has walked away to load his hands up with hand sanitizer and will be coming back soon. Mood significantly lighter than Mike needs right now. "I just -" He swallows and lets his eyes fall closed as Max's hand rests limp, over his shoulder. "I dunno. I..."

And he just didn't speak fast enough, because Stan leans back against the gate on his other side, and pulls a face when Mike's eyes startle open and something self-loathing crosses in the shadows of his face. "Oh. What's wrong?" Stanley asks, eyes flicking to Max, who raises her eyebrows in a way that says, 'I don't know and now we never will, good timing!' Stan bites into the side of his lower lip and sighs. "Sorry."

"No," Mike says, immediately rising up from Max's shoulder, and falling in to hug Stan because he kind of needs it and whatever. "I think I'm just kinda pissed at myself for not going on the rides earlier, even if it _was_ with a stranger. Or by myself," he says, into Stan's collar bone, before pulling himself up and away, so neither of them can read his face.

He is, actually, a little bit mad at himself about that. About pouting and trying to be the photographer - especially since the pictures probably suck anyway and Eddie's gonna spend money on 'em and find out what a waste Mike is... Jesus.

"They're still running, Mike," Max says, suggesting he's being a whiny baby, but then, of course, immediately follows with, "I'll go with you, nerd. Just ask next time." Mike smiles softly to himself, and gives a non-committal nod, when he sees that Stan clearly isn't bothered by letting his girlfriend indulge in the rides that are more up her alley than his.

"Mm, but we're supposed to meet at the Ferris wheel now," Stanley says, after looking to his watch.

"So we'll go after," Max says easily, linking arms with Mike, and grabbing Stan's hand to have a boy on either side of her.

 

It's so bad that when Mike, Stanley, and Max make their way toward the others, and Eddie turns to smile at him, Mike nearly goes numb, feet dumb, breath lost. Doesn't even see Will until he's blocking Mike's view, and grabbing his hand, pulling him from Max's grasp. Swallowing and blinking slow, Mike furrows his brows at Will, a sliver of a smile springing onto his mouth as his brain catches up. "What?"

"Nothing, just... you haven't been on many rides today so Rich and I thought you should be the first in line." Will's pushing him toward where Bill and Eddie are standing, Richie just behind them. Eddie's already handing a ticket to the roustie who manages the ride, and Mike's starting to feel uneasy - conflicted about the odd number of their group again. But then Will's shoving Mike forward about the same time as Richie hops half onto Bill's back, wrapping an arm around his neck, and angling him back.

"You're ridin' with me, Big Bill!" - "Wha - What about Will?" And Mike's wondering the same thing as Bill, turning a curious look on his friend, who's already stepped off to the side, and waves him forward. Mike's dragging his feet a little lost and confused, but then he's being asked for a ticket, and Richie's saying, "I already went with Will, while you guys were all _off_ , and we're gonna go again after, right baby?" To which Will nods, smiling soft and warm, as always. A sucker for Richie if ever there was one...

Mike begins feeling jittery as he's being ushered into his seat next to Eddie, and then the bar drops over their thighs as they share a look. Eddie's cheeks look faintly pink, even with the yellow light shining from the bulbs of the Ferris Wheel. Wind-bitten maybe. Eyes even warmer-looking, gorgeous lashes practically casting a shadow.

He swallows harsh, hands nervously bending over the bar, rubbing into it, as he wills himself to be cool, looking out at their friends.

"I haven't really seen you much tonight," Eddie says. And while the whole group pretty much ate together, and came in together, Mike knows he means, more so, that they haven't had the chance to speak. But that hasn't been just tonight. Mike knows he's been clamming up around Eddie for going on weeks, now.

And Eddie, for all he's worth, has been kind and patient, coming to sit at Mike's side when they all hang out at the park, and Mike's just watching his friends swing, or slide, climb up the monkey bars and King Kong roar. Or if they go to the movies, Eddie's there, tipping his bag of popcorn in offer, when Mike's snow caps run out fifteen minutes in. He's even walked Mike home several times after. Well. Biked home with him, anyway. And sometimes he helps Mike clean up after campaigns, even though he's yawning, and stretching toned arms above his head all the while, pretty dark little circles under his eyes that make Mike want to beg him to sleep over. Stay the night.

A good friend. An amazing friend. And all Mike can do is think about how much he wants to ruin it. How much he wants to take Eddie's jaw in his hand and tip his head back, angle Eddie's lips for a kiss. How he wants to buy Eddie chocolates for Valentine's day, and have Eddie walk him up to his door after a date. How much he wants to push Eddie up against his locker at school and kiss him breathless five seconds before the last class bell rings, when the halls are empty, with Eddie's hands in his hair. How he wants to find Eddie studying in the library after school, and have Eddie pull him in, to sit on his lap while he reads his Biology chapter over Mike's shoulder and laces their fingers together.

 _God_ he wants to ruin it. Absolutely destroy the idea that they could ever be just friends again. Fuck it all to hell and back.

Mike nods, weakly, in agreement. Yeah. They haven't seen each other much tonight, and now that Mike has what he's been wanting the whole night, his throat isn't working very well. Dry and sticking in on itself all the same, when he starts to say, "Yeah. But - you've been having fun with Bill?" stomach dropping out because what if Eddie and Bill really _do_ like each other, and are just kind of taking it easy because there's no threat?

Because everyone else in the world who matters already has someone, or they just don't matter _that_ way and what if Mike's been thinking about kissing the person his friend's meant to be with, and wouldn't Bill just hate him if he knew...?

"Yeah, we always do," Eddie says immediately, smiling and relaxing into the seat, knees splaying open as the wheel rolls them up a space higher, and Dustin and Bev are the next to climb in, taking their seats. Richie having pulled Bill to the back of the line with him as Will looks up and gives Mike a short wave and a smirk. A curious one at that. Mike lets loose a sigh of frustration as he starts to get the picture. Not altogether oblivious, now that he's seeing everything come together. _Fuck_. Eddie's voice goes a little tight, but amused. "What? You didn't want me to have fun with Bill?"

"What?" Mike squawks, "No! I - Sorry. I was thinking about something else." He winces, turning his head to look in the complete opposite direction of Eddie when he realizes how desperate he sounds.

"Oh," Eddie breathes, "Good cause..."

Cause, what? That's what Mike wants to know. And his cheeks are already burning and his hands are already sweating and he probably already looks like a total idiot, so he goes ahead and asks, "Cause you guys are... together and you want me to be happy for you?"

" _What_? No...!" He can't see, but he hears the way Eddie's face pinches. Then it goes soft around a surprised laugh. "What - we - why would you think that? I mean not that I don't love Bill, but."

Mike feels his chest loosen, so significantly he could almost fall apart, at the same time as he closes his eyes tight against his own stupidity. It was dumb to ask, no matter how gentle and still he was able to make his voice come out, despite all its lingering roughness. "Oh I mean. Just, everyone's all... -" Coupley. But Mike doesn't say this, because the wheel rolls up again and now they're getting significantly higher as Max and Stan take their seats, not that Mike can really see who's climbing on next. Because when he looks down something in his brain clicks. Makes the sound of a grenade clip being pulled.

Distantly, he hears Eddie agree. "Yeah. It's... I love it, but sometimes it's a little lonely. Bill - you know, Bill's sort of. You know how he can just insert himself anywhere and fit and sometimes I get a little jealous. But then I remember you and -"

He really, really can't hear what Eddie's saying, though, because his hands are gripped so tightly to the bar his knuckles are turning the color of ghosts and maybe the rest of him is paling just as much. Stomach churning as his eyes start to prick up, the muscles in his back, shoulders, calves, and thighs tensing so much it physically aches everywhere. It feels like he's looking down into the quarry all over again. Like he can see all the sharp rocks beneath the water's surface, waiting to impale, waiting for him to fall. Jump, leap, plummet.

"Mike?" Eddie asks, voice breaking through as Eddie's hand clamps down on Mike's shoulder. And Mike blinks, but this only seems to push all the water in his eyes together and he feels a full tear breaking over his waterline. But his hands are glued to the bar trapping him inside his seat, and so he can't wipe it off his face before Eddie sees, so he looks away instead. When he can see out over what seems like half the valley, he feels his body lurch in on itself.

" _Mike_ ," Eddie says, more urgent now, since it's so clear Mike is _not_ okay, but he doesn't know what's wrong. Was it something he said or -

The wheel rolls back again, and the hand holding the lever to the encasement of the grenade gives away just slightly. When Mike closes his eyes, it just feels worse, because then he really is falling, can't see that he's stationary and his blood is rushing and his brain and his nerves are all telling him he's in motion and he very nearly lets a sob out of his chest as he cracks his eyes open and continues to feel himself moving even though their cart is rocking very minutely in the breeze, but overall everything is still. 

"Eddie," he starts, still too embarrassed to look Eddie's way, even as Eddie's wrapping a hand around Mike's waist and pulling him closer because it looks a little like Mike's having a panic attack and Eddie's instincts are to shield him from whatever's triggering it. "It's too high; I have - we have to get down. We have to get down." It sounds stupid but this is so clearly dangerous that Mike's not sure what he was thinking getting on in the first place. What the hell was he thinking?

Without questioning him, Eddie peers over the edge of the bar, to call down to the two below them. "Dusty!" Dustin and Beverly both glance up, breaking apart from a kiss, but before Eddie can say more, Mike's hand is pushing him back into the seat, at his chest.

"Please - _please_ don't lean forward."

Eddie's heart breaks just a little, at the tone of Mike's voice. Like he thinks Eddie might get hurt. Afraid for both of them, not just himself. "Okay. Mike, hold on one second okay. Just hold my hand. We'll be down soon, I promise," Eddie tells him, softly, placing his hand over Mike's along the safety bar.

He flexes his hand over Mike's, and locks his fingers over and in between, clutching at him tightly, so that Mike doesn't have to think about it, worry about letting go. "Dusty," Eddie calls out again, then, and he hears Dustin yell back, waiting for whatever Eddie needs to tell him. "Can you get word to the - guy - that me and Mike need to get off the ride!" He glances to his side and sees that Mike's face is red, but the glisten in his eyes are far more worrying.

Mike's muttering to himself, "This is so stupid. You weren't even remotely this scared when it was actually happening. What the fuck. What the fuck."

And he wasn't, but that was before he'd found out that he would have, without a doubt, been killed had he made impact. After that fact had been revealed, Mike had delved into a whole, quiet world by himself in which he re-lived the moment over and over, without El's help. But he thought his fear only extended to that place. That specific place.

Not... He hadn't realized it was all heights, until just now.

Swallowing thickly, Eddie listens for the others, voices just barely there. But he's able to catch enough to know that their friends have played pass-along and then what feels like an eternity later, Dustin's able to look back, up on them with a thumb up, as the wheel continues to turn. Bev's casting a worried glance at Mike. Saying into the wind, "You're okay sweetheart. Just another second, baby, and you'll have two feet on the ground, okay?" Mike's nodding, but he looks borderline ill and Eddie just wants to hold him but every time he moves even slightly, Mike flinches like they'll topple over and cascade out onto the ground.

"Mike... I'm right here, and we're getting off of this, together, I promise. Can you look at me?"

If Mike weren't so sure that wasn't true, he'd have fallen in love with Eddie all over again, in that moment. But his brain's still telling him that he's in an incredibly precarious position, and that _something_ is going to happen. He just doesn't know what.

If it's screws coming loose sending the whole Ferris wheel toppling to its side, or if it's the bar coming undone or if it's the cart they're in, itself, coming undone. But there are just so many ways they're in trouble, and Mike wishes more than anything Eddie had his hands on his hip and his own hand for a different reason.

Mike moves his head, very slowly, to the side, and sees Eddie's big brown eyes, and miraculously something in him finds a way to grip the lever tighter to the grenade, but in a way that doesn't feel so much like his hands going to cramp out, inevitably self-destructive. He swallows, harsh, and tries to remember how to breathe as Eddie gives him a concerned smile.

"Just look at me, okay? We're fine. We're having a good night, and soon we're gonna pile back into Ben's SUV and we'll go home and you'll sleep all of this off. I've got you, Mike. We're safe," he says, voice sweet but sure.

Watching Eddie's lips move, getting lost in counting the freckles over Eddie's nose and along his cheek bones as he speaks, trying to find his own reflection in Eddie's eyes... Mike doesn't even realize as they reach the top, and then begin their descent. Eddie takes notice of this more peaceful, but still precarious stillness that has come over Mike, so he flexes his fingers into Mike's hip and continues speaking.

"I've missed you tonight... I kept - I kept thinking about." Mike's mouth twitches when Eddie cuts himself off, glancing to the side and shaking his head a little. Like he caught himself doing something stupid. But Mike's almost more desperate to hear what Eddie was thinking about, than to get off the ride.

Almost.

So he lets Eddie move on, "Well, anyway. I'm just." Eddie sighs, and looks back up at Mike, eyelids resting a little lower than before. Having chided himself, Mike thinks, in the back of his head. "Are you ready for school to start back up?" His Adam's apple bobs and his shoulders are up his neck, slightly, chest looking squared and his eyes are evasive like he feels stupid for asking. But it was something that came to mind when he'd failed to find a graceful way to bow out of whatever he was trying to say before.

"No," Mike answers, sounding like he's talking through a wall. Because he is. It's panic and fear and confusion and want and it's all thick around him. "You?"

Eddie huffs out a little laugh, like he's relieved Mike didn't suddenly decide now was a good time to make fun of him. And he shakes his head. "Not at all. I mean, I'm ready to get high school over with, so I guess to get there I kinda _have_ to be ready for this year but. At the same time." Then his own fear shows in his eyes, dimming them, and Mike feels something else loosen within him, as he gets the urge to comfort Eddie, himself. Though he doesn't know what Eddie's problem even is yet.

But it makes so much sense, such perfect sense, when Eddie says, "I also kind of... just want high school to last forever. I don't - want to leave." Them. All of them. His friends. His chosen family.

"Me either," Mike readily agrees, finding his jaw moving a little easier.

By now, they're at least halfway back to the ground. "I've been meaning to - ask everyone about that," Mike tells him. But he's been too afraid.

Afraid to hear everyone's first choices for school. Hear that they want to move in all different directions. That they want to grow up and get married and have babies and jobs and find new friends in their colleagues and only think about the people they left behind once in a _while_.

He'd like to think they're all closer than that. That they're all soul mates and won't let the world tear them apart. Likes to think that maybe... maybe even if it's not perfect, the way Joyce and Hopper and his mother all went to school together and stayed in the same town, maybe they, too, can choose some place to continue revolving around each other. But even that's not a good enough example. Because his mother doesn't really _have_ friends. And Joyce divorced her high school sweetheart.

Then again, she also ended up marrying Hopper, and she also has lunch with Karen at least once a week, so maybe...

His heart stutters, along with his thoughts, when he feels Eddie's thumb brush gently over his own thumb, and he looks up to see Eddie staring at him, intent, hanging off the words Mike's not even saying. Looking for the hope there. Not-so-fearless leader, _I believe in you_. Believe in what _you_ believe in.

So please believe in us. _Please_.

"Eddie -"

Mike's eyebrows shoot up as another human comes into contact. One that has their feet on the ground. And is prying the bar from Mike's life-or-death grip. And Eddie isn't keen on letting go of him just yet, it seems, because the arm he had around Mike's waist replaces the hand that was over his, but this time it laces from underneath, palm to palm, as he helps Mike stand on shaky legs.

 

Now that they're back on the ground, and Eddie has gotten Mike to sit down at a bench, facing away from where their friends are still on the ride, Eddie feels more free to talk about what just happened. Like it won't triple the panic, now that Mike seems less petrified. Normal fidgets back in place, with his thumb catching on the cuff of his hoodie, pulled low over long arms. "I didn't realize you weren't going on the rides cause you were afraid of heights Mike... I -"

"That's not why," Mike says, instantly, because honestly it wasn't, and he feels his mind reeling over what just happened. Jesus, what if he _had_ gotten on those rides? All fast and tall and all _about_ the fear of falling. Adrenaline-inducing. He might have passed out or... Jesus. And how stupid would he have to be to knowingly get on a Ferris Wheel if _he_ knew he'd be afraid? "I. Fuck, I never would've gotten on there if I'd known I was gonna freak out about it. The other rides I was just being..." Self-pitying. Jealous.

Eddie folds his hand over Mike's where it's set along the metal grating of the tabletop, and Mike's eyes flash up instantly, cheeks heating at the touch. Lower lip pulled between his teeth, Eddie's eyes search Mike's face. The tension in his face says he's at war with something, internal, but his touch is as gentle as before, trying to be reassuring for Mike. Open and there. And so fucking perfect Mike could die from it.

" _Shit_ ," Mike whispers, leg bouncing up and down nervously, on the balls of his toes. Eddie's eyebrows rise in response, but Mike doesn't allow for enough time to chicken out. It's gonna drive him crazy if he doesn't just say something. "Eddie, I know this is the worst timing ever, but I can't take it anymore. I _like_ you. Like, _so_ much and I'm - sorry. God I'm such an idiot. I totally wrecked your night and..."

"Whoa, wait!" Eddie's hold tightens on Mike's hand, as he stops the apology spilling from his mouth. Eddie's shoulders bow closer, and his heart is hammering in his chest as he says, "Mike. You... like me?"

Mike's face crumples under the weight of Eddie's gaze. He doesn't register the fact that Eddie hasn't pulled his hand away, or the fact that Eddie's face is splotchy with a pleased blush. Just rambles out a, "Sorry. I know. It's stupid, and you could be with like anyone, so I don't know why I'm telling you. But. I do. Also I'm pretty sure all the pictures I took on your camera are garbage, so I'll totally pay for them, myself."

"Mike," Eddie says, so soft and sweet. When Mike looks up Eddie's smiling so huge his cheeks are round, creasing his eyes. "You like me?"

"Well. Yeah." Obviously. Isn't it so, so obvious? Mike sees their hands, then, still together, and his brain feels it, then, retracting his hand and shoving it into his hoodie pocket. Eddie might have flinched but Mike's too busy to notice, contemplating burying his face in his arms on top of the table, until they have to leave, and blurting out another round of 'sorry', muffled this time.

Eddie's taking things in stride though. Lets Mike do what he has to cause it's been a rough night and, frankly he's too happy, confident he'll be able to correct Mike's worries, soon, to worry about it. "Wow..." he breathes between them, using his feet, planted in the dirt below, to drag his hips closer along the bench they're both straddling.

"Good-wow or - bad-wow?" Mike asks, swallowing around the word 'bad'. Letting his eyes meet Eddie's. It doesn't look like bad-wow, but. He wasn't really expecting any kind of wow to begin with. Maybe something more along the lines of a pitying, 'That sucks...'

" _Good_ -wow," Eddie says, almost a whisper, and it knocks the breath right from Mike's chest. "Can... I. Like, kiss you or something?"

Eyebrows shooting up, Mike's back even straightens up, nice and tall, as he squeaks out, " _You_ wanna kiss _me_?"

"If that's okay," Eddie says, nodding, and leaning in close. Making Mike feel feverish all over, and his fists clench in his pockets as he itches to take Eddie's face in his hands...

"Yeah, but. You don't have to or anything. I mean."

Eddie laughs, a little breathless, and incredulous at the same time. "I know I don't have to, dumbass. I _want_ to. Okay?"

"Kay," Mike breathes, leaning closer himself. Eyes searching Eddie's face, just before their eyes close in sync. Eddie's hand braces him on the table as he presses his lips to Mike's. Short. Such a small amount of time that Mike's half-convinced they didn't really kiss. But then Eddie's other hand cups his face, and his lips are back again. Warm and real and Mike huffs a hot little breath out his nose, helplessly wrestling his hand out of his pocket so he can grasp at Eddie's own jacket, at his side. Sliding his palm down, and to Eddie's hip as they part.

" _Mike_ ," Eddie says, pupils blown wide, and so close up. A little brokenly.

Mike doesn't even know what to say. There's so much love flooding through him and he doesn't deserve whatever is happening right now, although he can't really remember why, at the moment. "Eddie. Does - Do you -"

"Yeah," he says, against Mike's lips, before giving the tiniest lick to the seam, there, and Mike's eyes fall closed again as a little high-pitched noise crawls out from the back of his throat. Eddie's lips latch on to his, and Mike realizes he's scooted closer when their knees bump, and then Eddie's ankles wrap around Mike's heels, leverage, apparently. Because then Eddie's thighs are _over_ Mike's, and the top of their chests can press together. Mike's hand move around to Eddie's back, pushing him closer. Then Eddie's pulling back, and laying his forehead to the juncture between Mike's neck and shoulder, breathing down his front. "Mike?"

"Yeah?" His brain is malfunctioning. Wanting so much all at once that nothing is being put to action. Not pulling Eddie closer, not bringing him back up for another kiss, not petting his hair, or getting his other hand around Eddie's back.

"Hold me, okay?" He breathes it out all on one breath, but it doesn't matter. It kicks Mike's brain into gear, and then he's wrapping Eddie up close until their fronts are all aligned and he still can't fucking breathe but it's fine because holy shit.

Mike lays his cheek on the side of Eddie's head, shoulders shaking as he finally lets out air his lungs have been withholding. Fingers digging gently down into the cotton of Eddie's hoodie. "You mean it, right? You want this? Because I... I can't go back from this, Eddie. I -"

"I mean it. I mean it."

 

On the ride home, Bill ends up in Bev's lap, with his legs over Dustin's. Dustin's finding the ticklish spots of the back of Bill's knees as Bill squirms in Bev's lap, her arms around his waist, holding him tight, forehead pressed to his shoulder. He's there, because instead of being in Mike's lap, like on the ride in, Mike's sitting in Eddie's lap. They keep pressing the lengths of their noses and foreheads together, as Will and Richie laugh from beside them. "Shut up. Like you guys aren't obnoxious twenty-four-seven," Eddie finally bites out, opening his eyes to look into Mike's before grinning toothily at him, and pecking his lips again.

"Yeah, and uh, also you're _welcome_ ," Richie says, before Will lightly smacks the side of his arm and hushes him.

"He means, keep it up, cause we're happy for you," Will says, ruffling Eddie's hair, and then Mike's, like a proud dad.

Embarrassed, Mike groans, head falling to the other side of Eddie's, so he's by the window, and has his nose pressed into Eddie's neck. "We're gonna have to be grateful to them for _forever_ now. We're fucked."

"Yeah," Eddie agrees, giving a content sigh as he nuzzles the side of his head into Mike's. "That sucks..."


End file.
